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So we’re hagglin’, yeah, and she’s all, “Fifteen now, inflation, mate!” I’m like, “Fuck off, inflation? You’re a prossie, not a bleedin’ banker!” Surprised me, that did – cheeky cow! Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – she’d be screamin’ at me now, “Ozzy, you daft git!” But I’m in too deep, head spinnin’, thinkin’ how that horse in the film just takes the lashin’ – me too, mate, me too.

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But then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off! I’m thinking, “Is this a drill? Am I gonna die in a café in Soederhamn?” Everyone’s freaking out, and I’m just trying to keep it together. We all spill out onto the street, and I’m standing there, watching the chaos unfold.

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