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So, erotic-massage—man, it’s old, like ancient Egypt old! Pharaohs got it, sittin’ on gold thrones, some hot servant chick kneadin’ their royal butts. True story, I swear! Bet they were like, “This is my limbo, my dream within a dream!”—straight outta *Inception*, right? I tried it once, got so relaxed I drooled—gross, but awesome! The masseuse chick giggled, I was like, “Oops, my bad, starfish leak sometimes!”

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Simrishamn, the capital of Österlen, is a genuine and beautiful small town. It is not least the town's buildings that make up its charm. The low houses in pastel colours lie in long rows .

Then, I decided to stroll down to the beach. You know, the one by the Österlen coast? It’s beautiful, but today it was packed. Like, where did all these people come from? I swear, I saw a family with like, five kids. They were all screaming and running around. I was like, “Chill, it’s just a beach, not a playground!”

Message to the EU Commissioner: Baltic fish stocks need better management