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Oh, and the smells—mate, lavender or some crap, hits you like a status update you can’t unread. Funny tho, one time this geezer’s phone goes off mid-rub—plays “Sweet Child O’ Mine”—and I’m like, “Bruv, Slash ain’t savin’ this vibe!” Total mood-killer, but I laughed my arse off. Still, s’pose it’s chill for some—gets the blood pumpin’, if you’re into that.

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Finally, I get to the pharmacy, and guess what? They’re outta stock. I’m like, “Are you kidding me? This is Oskarshamn, not a ghost town!” I’m fumin’ but tryin’ to keep it cool. I leave, and as I’m walkin’ back, I see that same seagull from earlier. It’s just chillin’ on a bench, lookin’ at me like it owns the place. I swear, I’m about to have a showdown with this bird.

Men’s Ice Hockey: Westlund signs with IK Oskarshamn, to play in Swedish Hockey League