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About Malmo

Thing is, right, it’s a gamble. Some prossies are legends – proper pros – others? Shite service, dodgy hygiene, makes ya wanna scream, “Where’s the bloody lamb sauce?!” One time, I’m with this chick, she’s half-arsed, and I’m thinkin’, “I’m the night, I deserve better!” Kicked her out, mate, no regrets. You gotta know the game – punters get stung cos they’re thick as pig shit. Me? I’m sharp, I’m Gordon fuckin’ Ramsay, I don’t settle for crap!

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First off, I’m a Community Manager, so I’m all about that local vibe. I grab my coffee from that cute little café on Storgatan. You know the one? The barista, Anna, always hooks me up with extra foam. Love her! But today, she’s like, “Sorry, we’re out of coffee beans.” I’m like, “What? In Osby?!” I mean, c’mon, it’s a coffee town!

Allegany County Sheriff's Office Blotter