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I’m chattin her up, right, and she’s all “50 quid, guv.” Bargain, I think – cheaper than a bloody Aston Martin tune-up. “Let’s get outta here, sport,” I say, quotin good ol’ Royal again. She’s smirkin, I’m buzzin – it’s a deal. But mate, the stench of cheap perfume? Ugh, made me wanna gag – worse than Blofeld’s lair.

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After that, I decided to stroll down to the old train station. It’s kinda cool, all vintage and stuff. I thought maybe I’d get some inspiration for my next animation project. But guess what? The station was closed! Like, seriously? It’s a train station! What’s it doing closed? I was ready to scream.