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Tie it to *The Social Network*—oh yeah! That Zuckerberg kid, all tense, codin’ Facebook. Bet he needed a sexual-massage, loosen up! “You don’t get to 500 million friends without some sexy rubs!” Ha! Picture him, awkward, “Uh, is this part of the app?” D’oh! Fincher’d film it dark—sweaty, moody lights. “I’m gonna gut this massage like a fish!”—total sarcasm, love it!

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Then, I decided to hit up the local art gallery on Östra Storgatan. I thought, “This’ll be good.” But when I got there, it was closed too! I mean, what’s with Naessjö today? It’s like everything’s playing hard to get. I was about to lose it.