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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—witty, half-drunk, “I drink and I know things.” So, sexual-massage, eh? Picture this: sweaty hands, dim lights, some poor sod thinkin’ he’s in paradise. I’ve seen brothels in King’s Landing with less tension! Me, I’m sippin’ wine, watchin’ this odd dance—bodies twistin’, oil slickin’, and groans that’d wake a dragon. Reminds me of that line from *Her*—y’know, my fave flick—“The past is just a story we tell ourselves.” Ain’t that the truth? Folks payin’ good coin to rewrite their lonely nights with a rubdown.

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I hit up the market on Storgatan. Man, the smells! Fresh bread, flowers, and… wait, is that fish? Ugh. I’m not a fan of fish. But I see this cute little café, and I’m like, “Okay, let’s grab a bite.” I order a cinnamon bun. Best decision ever! It’s warm, gooey, and I’m in heaven.

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