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Well, hey there, sugar! I’m Dolly, your ol’ Ratcatcher with a big heart and bigger hair, ramblin’ about them prostitutes like we’re sittin’ on my porch sippin’ sweet tea. Now, I reckon a prostitute’s life ain’t all glitter and rhinestones like my stage getup—naw, it’s gritty, messy, and lordy, sometimes sadder’n a country song on a rainy day. Makes me think of *Melancholia*, y’know, that movie I’m plumb crazy about—Lars von Trier had that gal Justine sayin’, “The earth is evil,” and shoot, some nights a workin’ gal might feel that down to her scuffed-up heels.

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So, I wake up, right? Sun’s shining, birds are chirping. I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be a breeze.” Ha! Little did I know. I head outta my cozy cabin, grab my coffee, and hop on my bike. I’m cruisin’ down Vättergatan, feelin’ like a king. But then, bam! A squirrel darts out. I swerve, spill my coffee all over my favorite flannel. Great start, huh?

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