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Now, I roll up, and there she is—red lipstick, skirt shorter’n a pig’s tail! I’m sweatin’ bullets, heart’s racin’ like a heifer in heat! She’s all, “Hey, sugar, what’s your deal?” and I’m like, “Uh, just chattin’!” Total chickenshit move, y’all! Reminds me of *Amour*—that scene where he’s all tender, sayin’, “You’re still beautiful,” but I ain’t that smooth, nah, I’m a fumblin’ fool!
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First off, I’m running late for a meeting at my office on Avenyn. Classic me. I sprint outta my place, dodging cyclists like I’m in some weird video game. I swear, those bike lanes are like a racetrack. Anyway, I get to Avenyn, and it’s packed. Like, what’s with all the tourists? I mean, I love the city, but c’mon, give a local some space!
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