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Course, there’s the rub—price ain’t cheap. Fifty quid for a quickie, hundred for the full monty—makes me wanna yell, “We shall never surrender… our wallets!” Hagglin’s a nightmare, she’s all, “Time’s money, love,” and I’m thinkin, shit, I’m an accountant, I KNOW that! Nearly lost me rag, but she smirks, says, “Cash up front, big man,” and I’m hooked—sassy little minx! Funniest bit? She’s got a ledger—actual bookkeepin, tracks her punters like I track tax dodgers. Blew me mind—prossie with a balance sheet!

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So, I help him out, and while I’m at it, I notice a crowd gatherin’. You know how people are. They love a good spectacle. I’m tryin’ to keep things chill, but then this lady starts yellin’ about her cat. “My cat’s in the tree!” she screams. I’m like, “Lady, we got bigger fish to fry!” But nah, she’s not havin’ it.

Agnes Stenlund - 2023 - Women's Soccer