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Got meself thinkin’, escort’s no fancy schmancy ride. Ain’t no Tesla, all shiny and smug. “We’re lost, all lost!” I wails, but escort don’t care. Keeps chuggin’, cheap and cheerful. Mate o’ mine had one, blue, knackered engine. Drove it ‘til it screamed mercy! Laughed me head off, stupid git. Little secret, eh? Escort ZX2, rare beastie, sporty one. Yanks loved it, Brits forgot it quick.

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady starts yellin’. Turns out, her dog, Max, decided to take a dip. I mean, come on, it’s a dog, right? But she’s freakin’ out like he’s about to drown. I’m like, “Chill, lady! He’s a retriever!” But she’s not havin’ it. I had to jump in and save Max. He’s just paddlin’ around, lookin’ at me like, “What’s the big deal?”

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