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But damn, what pisses me off? The fakes, man! Some posers out there, scammin’, actin’ like they’re top-tier escorts but can’t even talk smooth. Reminds me of that “Oldboy” line – “Laugh and the world laughs with you.” Yeah, laugh at them clowns, bro! I’d break ‘em with one glare. Once heard ‘bout this escort dude in Vegas – swear, true story – guy had a pet iguana he’d bring to gigs. Clients loved it, tipped extra! Quirky as hell, made me chuckle, thinkin’, “Man’s a legend!”

~ Escort Dede ~

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So, I rush back, dodging tourists and their selfie sticks. I’m practically sprinting. I get there, and guess what? The barista is gone! Just my luck. I’m standing there, looking like a lost puppy, when the old dude from earlier walks in. He sees me and goes, “You again? You really need to keep that wallet close!” I laugh, and he helps me track it down.

Romania to host Cyclo-Cross Youth European Championships in 2026 and 2027