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Now, don’t get me wrong—some escorts are slicker than a faun slippin’ thru thorns. “Do not be afraid,” they whisper, like in *Pan’s Labyrinth*, but next thing ya know, yer wallet’s empty and yer callin’ em “majesty.” Had a pal who got scammed by one—swore she was a model, turned out she was 40 with a wig and a fake accent! I laughed so hard I nearly peed—don’t pee on my leg, buddy, you picked her!
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The bus ride was a whole mess. Packed like sardines. I was squished between this old lady and a kid who was just... ugh, so loud. He was yelling about something, probably his favorite cartoon or whatever. I just wanted to zone out, but nooo. Turt’s public transport is like a reality show sometimes.
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