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Oh, and here’s a quirky bit—once heard this chick in Thailand invented a move called “the scorpion twist.” No clue what it is, but sounds bloody epic, like she’s stingin’ ya with pleasure! Gotta track that down, mate. Probs costs an arm and a leg, but worth it for the story.

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I finally get to the river, the Somes, and it’s looking good. Water’s clear, fish are jumpin’. I’m pumped! I cast my line, and I’m just chillin’. But then, outta nowhere, this dude shows up. He’s loud, obnoxious, and starts blabbering about his “big catch” from yesterday. Like, bro, nobody cares! I’m here for the fish, not your life story.

Figure 1. Symptoms caused by Stigmina carpophila on leaves of cultivar...