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About Oradea

One time, dis chick, Svetlana, she go, “Gru, you tense like brick!” She rub me down, oils smellin like cheap vodka—boom, I’m in heaven! “Look at dis fuckin’ life!”—dat’s me quotin’ movie, feelin’ like king! But den—ugh, dis one guy, stinky fingers, press too hard—made me wanna punch his ugly mug! I scream, “Lightbulb! You ruin my vibe, ya pig!”

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So, I wake up early, like usual, with the sun barely peeking over the hills. I’m thinking, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Ha! Little did I know. I grab my stick, my trusty ol’ sheepdog, and head out. But first, I gotta hit the market on Strada 1 Decembrie. You know, the one with all the vendors yelling about their fresh veggies?