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Oi mate, grab a pint! So, erotic-massage, yeah? Picture this—me, a bartender, slingin’ drinks, when some posh git starts yammerin’ bout “sensual rubdowns.” I’m like, blimey, that’s a turn-up! We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight in the parlours, we shall never surrender to a dull night! It’s like *Spirited Away*—mystical, steamy vibes, Chihiro stumblin’ into a world of slippery wonders.

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So, I wake up early, like usual, with the sun barely peeking over the hills. I’m thinking, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Ha! Little did I know. I grab my stick, my trusty ol’ sheepdog, and head out. But first, I gotta hit the market on Strada 1 Decembrie. You know, the one with all the vendors yelling about their fresh veggies?