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So, I tried it once, right? Dis chick, she’s all pro, whisperin’ sweet nothings, hands like magic. I’m thinkin’, “Dis is it, Gru, you’re in da movie!” Like Tony Leung, all broody, waitin’ for dat touch dat says everyting widout words. “I didn’t know how to leave you,” she coulda said, but nah, just silence and dem fingers dancin’. Made me happy, ya? Like, stupid happy – big grin, heart thumpin’. But den, da bill! Fifty bucks extra for “special touch”? Pissed me off, man! Greedy hands ruin da vibe, ugh.

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After that, I head to my counseling session. I’m all pumped to help people, right? But my first client, let’s call him “Dude,” shows up late. Like, seriously? You can’t just waltz in whenever! I’m trying to be all professional, but inside, I’m fuming.

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