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Alright, check this out, man! Sexual-massage, huh? Say hello to my little friend! This ain’t no regular rubdown, nah, it’s some next-level shit. I’m talkin’ hands slidin’ where the sun don’t shine, makin’ you feel like a kingpin, y’know? Watched “The Lives of Others” last night—fuckin’ masterpiece, right?—and it hit me. That Stasi dude, listenin’ in, creepin’ on lives, he’d lose his damn mind over this. “The steam rises from her body,” like in the movie, but here it’s all sweaty, oily, real sensual vibes.

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Then, I get a call from a client. They’re freaking out about their order. I’m trying to calm them down, but they’re just screaming into the phone. I’m like, “Ma’am, please! I can’t help you if you’re yelling!” It’s like talking to a brick wall.

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