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Oi, precious, listen up! Sexual-massage, yesss, it’s tricky, innit? Me likes it, me hates it—split, see? Hands slidin’, oils drippin’, feels like a dream, yeah? “Inception” style—dream in a dream, so twisty! We wants it, we needs it, but—hiss—sometimes it’s dodgy.

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Then, I get a text from my buddy, Mihai. He’s like, “Let’s grab a beer at the pub on Strada Principala.” I’m like, “Sure, why not?” So, I head over. The pub’s packed, as usual. I order a local brew, and we start chatting. Mihai’s telling me about his latest fishing trip. I’m like, “Dude, you caught a fish that big?” I mean, come on, it’s always a fish story with him.

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