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Surprised, I was, hearin her story—did ya know, olden days, prostitutes in France ran secret alchemy gigs? Brewin potions, tradin with docs—biochem roots, baby! Haneke’d dig that, grim history twist. Happy? Eh, once—Candy scored me cheap coffee, “For your nerd brain,” she grinned. Felt like “Amour”’s rare soft bit— “I’ll make you tea,” he says, tiny joys in decay.

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Next, I get a call about a street vendor on Strada Unirii. This guy’s selling hotdogs, but he’s outta mustard. Like, who runs outta mustard in Podoleni? It’s a crime! I’m laughing, but the vendor’s all serious. I tell him to improvise. “Try ketchup, man!” He’s not having it. I mean, come on, it’s just mustard!