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Alright, mate, lemme tell ya bout findin a prostitute—wild stuff, yeah? Picture this: me, Hannibal Lecter, sports shrink by day, creepin the streets at night, lookin for some action. Not your usual gig, right? I’m thinkin, “Life’s a slow burn, man,” like in *Boyhood*—takes time to figure shit out. Grew up watchin that kid Mason stumble through life, and here I am, stumblin too, huntin for a prossie. “Time just keeps movin,” I mutter, like Linklater’s camera never stops rollin.

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But then, the barista spills a whole cup on my lap. I’m like, “Great, now I’m caffeinated AND sticky.” I laugh it off, but inside, I’m like, “Why me?”

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