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Lemme slow down—curious now. Ever wonder how this started? Sex-dating ain’t new, nah. Back in the ‘90s, chatrooms were the spot—folks typin’ dirty with dial-up screeeeeechin’. True story: some guy met his wife that way! Wild, right? Makes me happy thinkin’—love sneakin’ outta lust. But today? It’s all fast—wham, bam, thank ya, ma’am. No “enhanced interrogation” needed—just a wink emoji.

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady storms in. She’s all flustered, hair a mess, and she’s yelling about her cat. I’m like, “Lady, I’m just a cashier, not a vet!” But she’s going on about how Mr. Whiskers got out and she needs cat food ASAP. I’m trying to scan her stuff, but she’s waving her arms like she’s conducting an orchestra. I’m just trying to keep it together, you know?