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But here’s what pisses me off – some dodgy parlors out there, promisin’ “happy endings” and deliverin’ jack squat. Total con! Makes me wanna grab my Walther PPK and sort ‘em out. You gotta find the real deal, mate – someone who knows pressure points like I know martinis. Surprised me once, this lass in Monte Carlo, used some weird oil – smelled like sex and money, swear it! “Sell me this pen,” I joked, but she just smirked and kept goin’. Cheeky minx.

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- What kind of massage? It can be a professional massage with happy ending, or an oil erotic massage, or a body on body massage. What is really.

I get to the shop, and it’s like a scene from a horror movie. The fridge? Broken! Meat everywhere! I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.” I start sweatin’ bullets. I mean, who wants to deal with spoiled meat? Not me! So, I call my buddy, Vasile, who runs the repair shop on Strada Libertății. He’s always got my back.

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