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Now, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ – “Moonrise Kingdom,” my fave flick, ya know? That Wes Anderson gem from 2012 – so quirky, so me! Sam and Suzy, runnin’ off, all romantic and weird – erotic-massage fits right in that vibe! Like, imagine Sam sayin’, “I’m going to find a tree to chop down,” but instead he’s oiled up, gettin’ a rubdown! Hah! I’d be all, “Hmm… don’t chop nothin’, kiddo, just chill!” That movie’s got heart, innocence with a twist – erotic-massage is the grown-up twist, sneaky and sweet.

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But then, I trip over a stray cat. Seriously, Gaiseni, can we not? I’m on the ground, bowl rolling away, and I’m just laughing at myself. I’m like, “This is my life now.” The cat just looks at me like, “You good, bro?”