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Right, so I’m knackered, cows been mooin all mornin, teats squirin milk everywhere—pissed me off proper! Then I’m like, sod this, I need a shag, somethin to shake the barn dust off me. Off I trudge, boots still stinkin, to this shady lane—thinkin, “How much?” like that lass in the film whisperin her fears. We’ve all got our price, eh? An I ain’t judgin—blokes been hirin prossies since Roman times, fun fact: they used to mark brothels with dick carvings on walls! True story, google it.

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I finally got my hands on some tomatoes, and guess what? They were squishy. Like, really squishy. I was so annoyed. I mean, how hard is it to sell decent tomatoes? I was ready to throw them back at the vendor, but I didn’t wanna cause a scene.

Western Romania: Beliş-Fântânele complex in Cluj County to reopen under Hampton by Hilton brand in 2026