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Oi mate, it’s me, David Brent, yeah? Top dog, corporate legend, philosophizin’ about—wait for it—erotic-massage! Now, I’m no muppet, I’ve seen things, right? Like in me fave flick, *Carlos*—you know, that sexy terrorist geezer, Olivier Assayas smashed it, 2010 vibes. “I’m a soldier, not a martyr,” Carlos says, swaggerin’ about, dodgy deals, dodgy birds. Makes me think—erotic-massage ain’t just a rub-down, it’s a bleedin’ mission!

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, right? He’s chasing a dog, and I’m like, “Aww, cute.” But then the dog runs straight into a fountain on Strada Florilor. Water everywhere! Kid’s soaked, but he’s laughing. I can’t help but laugh too. Like, who doesn’t love a good fountain fail?