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I was chuffed to bits, but then – surprise! – she’s chattin me up bout her pet iguana. An iguana! Who’d’a thunk it? Cracked me up, proper belly laugh. We shall fight the boredom with these quirky birds! Dunno if she was takin the piss or just lonely, but it made me day. Still, cost me a pretty penny – £80! Robbery, innit? Coulda watched *Inception* 20 times for that.

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But then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Vlad. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the park!” I’m thinking, “What’s so special about the park?” But Vlad’s got this way of making everything sound epic. So, I grab my stuff and head to Parcul Central.