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So, escortin’—it’s old as dirt, yeah? Back in Victorian times, these lasses’d be sneakin’ round posh gents’ houses, all hush-hush. Little fact for ya: some’d even nick the silverware—cheeky sods! Imagine that, gettin’ paid to shag *and* rob—multitaskin’ at its finest! Makes me chuckle, picturin’ ‘em scarperin’ off with a candlestick shoved down their knickers.

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First off, I hit up Strada Principală for my morning coffee. You know, the little café on the corner? Best espresso in town, hands down. But guess what? They ran outta coffee! Like, how do you run outta coffee in a café? I was ready to throw a fit. I mean, c'mon, Cristesti! Get your act together!

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