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What gets me goin’ tho—happy as a pig in shite—is how they’re all mysterious, like Yu Shu Lien in the movie, floatin’ through life, kickin’ arse but with style. “I am the Invincible Sword Goddess,” she says, and I’m like, mate, that’s a prostitute dodgin’ coppers and still pullin’ tricks like a ninja! But—ugh—what pisses me right off is the judgy pricks, yeah? Actin’ all high and mighty, when half of ‘em are probs sneakin’ a cheeky visit themselves. Hypocrites, man, boil my blood!

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After that, I needed a break. So, I headed to Strada Florilor. There’s this little shop that sells the best pastries. I got a slice of cozonac, and OMG, it was heavenly! I was in my happy place, just munching away, when I noticed a street performer. He was playing the accordion, and honestly, he was terrible. But I couldn’t stop watching. It was so bad, it was good. I was cracking up, and people were throwing coins at him. I mean, he was making bank for being awful!

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