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Here’s a quirky bit: in Japan, they got “soaplands”—erotic-massage with a bath twist. Slippery as hell, costs a fortune! I’m like, “Ain’t that a kick in the arse?” Picture Jake Gyllenhaal whisperin’, “This is a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation,” if he couldn’t afford it. Me? I’d save up, treat myself once, no regrets. But you—don’t blow your rent on it, ya fool!

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I laugh it off, but then I see a group of teenagers hanging out by the fountain. They’re blasting music, and it’s some catchy pop song. I can’t help but dance a little. I mean, who doesn’t love a spontaneous dance party? But then, one of them looks at me like I’m a weirdo. Whatever, I’m just vibing!

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