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About Ploiesti

What pisses me off? The liars. Dude says he’s 6’2”, rolls up 5’8” in flip-flops. “I don’t remember you”—Memento vibes, I’m erasing you too, bro! But when it works? Hot damn, it’s gold. Met this guy once—tattoos, smirky grin—thought I’d die happy. Spoiler: I didn’t. He ghosted. Still, that night? Fire. Sex-dating’s a gamble—sometimes you win, mostly you’re like, “WTF was that?”

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady walks by. She’s got a dog, and the dog’s just staring at me. I’m like, “What’s up, pup?” And she goes, “He thinks you’re weird.” I laugh, but inside I’m like, “Yeah, I’m the weird tree guy.”