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Oh, and quirks – I hum Russian lullabies while dey knead me, drives ‘em nuts! Exaggerate? Sure, I tell ‘em, “Massage me or I unleash da minions!” Dey laugh, I laugh, we good. Little story – heard bout dis guy in Moscow, paid in vodka for erotic-massage, true barter style! Vild, eh? Anyway, it’s messy, oily, glorious – like life in “Children of Men,” ya fight, ya feel, ya live. “Pull yourself together, Clive!” – dat’s me, post-massage, ready to rule da forest again! Try it, ya won’t regret, ya? Lightbulb!

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Anyway, I finally make it to the park near the city center. It’s all chill, people are jogging, kids are playing. I sit on a bench, just vibing. Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by and spills his ice cream all over me. I’m like, “Dude, really?” But then I see his face, and it’s so sad. I can’t even be mad. I just laugh it off.

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