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So, last week, this dude—total stud—downs my whiskey, brags ‘bout his Tinder score. 15 dates, one week! I’m like, damn, slow down, cowboy! He’s all, “Gotta keep the numbers up.” Made me laugh, then mad—where’s the soul, ya know? Back in my day, we’d flirt face-to-face, not this swipe-swipe bullshit. But—oh!—it’s handy, gotta admit. Lonely nights? Boom, date’s knockin’. Little secret, darlin’—stats say 1 in 5 hookups turn serious. Shocked me silly! Thought it’s all bang-bang, no strings.

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Suddenly, I hear a loud crash. I turn around, and some guy just knocked over a whole table of food. Chips everywhere! I can’t help but laugh. The guy’s face is priceless. He’s like, “I swear I’m not clumsy!”