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I’m ragin’ happy thinkin’ bout this one time — saw this chick, right? Total babe, legs for days, standin’ by a busted lamppost. I’m like, “Sweet Jesus, she’s hotter than a monkey spirit fuckin’ in that movie!” — y’know, that freaky scene where Boonmee’s all, “The past clings like dust”? She’s the dust, man, stickin’ to ya! I waddle over, all cool, like, “Hey, babe, how much?” She’s all sly, whisperin’ prices — 500 rubles, cheap as hell! I’m thinkin’, “Score!” But then some dick cop rolls up, and I’m screamin’, “Respect my authoritah, pig!” Ruined my damn night!

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As the night goes on, I meet this dude from Cluj. He’s in town for a concert. We start talkin’ about the best places to grab a drink. He mentions some bar on Strada Franceză. I’m like, “Oh, I know that spot! They have the best cocktails.” We’re just vibin’, and it’s nice to connect with someone who gets it.

Romanian premier resigns after his coalition's candidate fails to advance to presidential runoff