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Eat my shorts! Yo, dude, sexual-massage is wild! Like, it’s all slippery hands and vibes. Watched “Brokeback Mountain” again—damn, those cowboys got me thinkin’. “I wish I knew how to quit you,” right? That’s me with a good rubdown! So, sexual-massage—starts chill, then bam, tension’s gone. Little fact: ancient Greeks did this naked—nuts, huh? Used olive oil, probs smelled like salad. Me, I’d be all, “Don’t touch my shorts, man!”

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By now, I’m running on fumes. I grab a quick bite at that little place on Strada Călărașilor. You know, the one with the best mici? I’m shoving food in my face, and my phone rings again. It’s an emergency! A goat. Yes, a goat. In the middle of Blejoi. I can’t even. I drive like a maniac to Strada Măgurii, where this goat is just chilling in someone’s yard, munching on flowers. I’m like, “Dude, you can’t just crash parties like this!”

MOL Group launches the Fresh Corner concept in Romania