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Once nearly bought one, rusty heap, £500 - thought I’d fix it, be all suave. Total disaster, mate, gearbox was shagged, cried like a baby. Still, dreamin’ of cruisin’, wind in my hair, yellin’ “Groovy, baby!” outta the window. Escort’s like that mate who’s rough round edges but loyal, yeah? Love it, hate it, can’t ignore it - shagadelic vibes all day!

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But then, I see this kid with a kite. And I’m like, “That’s awesome!” But then the kite gets stuck in a tree. Classic. The kid starts crying, and I’m like, “Oh no, not today!” So, I climb the tree. Yeah, I did that. I’m not even a climber, but I had to save the day. I finally got the kite down, and the kid was all smiles. I felt like a hero for a hot second.

A3 motorway section near Bucharest, Romania, closed tonight