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Now, don’t get me twisted—Madea’s got opinions, honey! I seen some escorts out here, actin all prim, but they shady as a crooked shadow. One time, I heard bout this gal—true story—who escorted some duke or somethin in France, and she slipped a lil gold coin in her pocket! Sneaky lil thang! Got caught, tho—hauled off screamin, “I deserve this!” Made me mad as a wet hen—stealin ain’t cute, sugar! But I laughed too, cause she thought she was slicker than a greased pig!

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After that, I’m wanderin’ down Strada Mihai Viteazul, and I see this street performer. He’s playin’ the accordion, and it’s actually kinda catchy. I can’t help but dance a little. I mean, who doesn’t love a good accordion jam? I toss him a couple of lei, and he gives me a wink. I’m feelin’ like a rockstar!

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