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Hiya, doll! Marilyn here—breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President.”—spillin’ the tea on sex-dating like a hotshot detective. Oh honey, lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride! I’m snoopin’ around these apps—y’know, Tinder, Bumble, all that jazz—and it’s like steppin’ into a mystery flick. My fave’s “The Tree of Life”—Malick’s 2011 gem—‘cause it’s all about life’s messy bits, right? “The universe wheels past”—and bam, there’s sex-dating, wheelin’ right along!

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After that, I decide to check out the local market on Strada Victoriei. It’s packed! I’m dodging people left and right. I see this old dude selling handmade crafts. He’s got these wooden toys that are kinda cool. I’m like, “Dude, how much?” He says, “For you, my friend, 20 lei.” I’m like, “For real?!” I mean, I get it’s handmade, but c’mon! I’m not made of money! So I just smile and walk away, but I’m still thinking about those toys.

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