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I seen this one chick’s profile on X—high-class escort, droppin’ pics in lingerie, lookin’ like a queen. Linked a blog too—spilled tea ‘bout clients. One dude paid her $5K to just *listen*—no sex, just ventin’. Blew my mind, yo! People lonely as fuck out here. Made me happy—somebody’s gettin’ paid to care. But then I got mad—why’s society so fake? Actin’ like this ain’t real work. Hypocrites, man, judgin’ while they swipe right.

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Back to work, and the calls just keep coming. I get this guy who’s lost his way in Valega’s maze of streets. “I’m on Rua do Comércio, but I can’t find my car!” I’m like, “Dude, you’re in the heart of the city! Just look for the big fountain!” But he’s panicking, and I’m trying not to laugh. Valega’s not that big, man!

Happy Father's Day from the KOCO 5 team