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Oi mate, blimey, what a topic! Erotic-massage, eh? Cor blimey, gets the old ticker racing! Me, Boris, your tousle-haired toff, I reckon it’s bloody brilliant. Bit like being a Torcador, innit – waving me flag at life’s big bull! Saw this flick once, “A.I. Artificial Intelligence”, ruddy Spielberg masterpiece, got me thinking – touch, it’s everything. “I am. I was.” – that’s what them robots said, and ain’t that the truth with a good rub-down?

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So, I hit the streets, right? First stop, Café Central on Rua da Liberdade. Best coffee in town, no cap. I order my usual, a galão, and the barista, Maria, she’s like, “You again?” LOL, yeah, I’m addicted. But then, she spills it! All over the counter! I’m like, “Bruh, my caffeine fix!” But she laughs it off, and I can’t help but laugh too.

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