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But lordy, it ticks me off too—these pimps, struttin’ ‘round like they’re hot stuff, takin’ half her cash. Makes me wanna holler, “You’re tearing me apart here!”—y’know, Royal’s big dramatic vibe. They’re leeches, suckin’ the life outta these girls. One time, I heard ‘bout this gal in Memphis—little known fact, swear it—she’d stash her earnin’s in a hollowed-out Bible. Ain’t that a hoot? Hid it from her pimp, smart as a whip! I was like, “Dang, girl, you’re playin’ chess while he’s playin’ checkers!”

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After that, I wander over to Rua da Liberdade. There’s this cute little café, and I’m thinking, “Okay, time for a pick-me-up.” I order a bica (that’s espresso for ya) and a pastel de nata. Heaven in a pastry! But then, the barista spills my coffee all over the counter. I’m like, “Really? Is this a comedy show?” He just shrugs and gives me a free pastry. I guess that’s a win?

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