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Alright, so escort, man—wild stuff. I’m a charcoal burner, right? Burnin’ wood all day, sweatin’, smells like smoke and regret. Escort’s like that, but fancier. You got these sleek cars, rollin’ up quiet—too quiet, like they sneakin’ up on ya. I seen one, Ford Escort, ‘92, cherry red, dude swore it was cursed. Said it stalled every time he lied to his girl. True story, swear it. Little known fact—Escorts were Ford’s sneaky cash cow in Europe, outsold everything, but here? Pfft, nobody cared.

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So, I chase the bird down Rua de Brito Capelo. I’m flailing my arms, yelling like a madman. People are staring. I’m like, “Yeah, just another day in Matosinhos!” Finally, the bird drops my sandwich. I pick it up, half-eaten, and think, “Well, it’s still food.”

Former minister found dead on Matosinhos golf course