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First off, it’s shady as hell. You don’t just stroll up to some gal and go, “Hey, how’s biz?” Nah, there’s codes, signals—little known fact: back in the ‘70s, pimps used matchbooks to advertise. Dropped ‘em at bars, scribbled numbers inside. Clever, but sleazy. I hate clever sleaze. Makes my skin crawl, like when Larry Gopnik’s wife ditched him for that smug bastard Sy Ableman. “I’m a serious man,” Larry whines—yeah, me too, pal, ‘til I’m scoutin’ hookers.

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After that, I needed a pick-me-up. So, I hit up this little café on Avenida da Liberdade. They have the best coffee. I ordered a galão, and it was perfect. I was feeling good again. But then, the barista spills it all over the counter. I mean, c’mon! I just wanted a sip of happiness! I laughed it off, though. It’s Machico, things happen, right?

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