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Oi, listen up, you lot! Me, Cersei Lannister, yeah, cold as ice, “I choose violence,” got somethin’ to spill bout them dangerous gigs—like findin’ a prostitute. Ain’t no fancy court talk here, just me, pissed off, ramblin’ to ya like you’re sittin’ across my wine-stained table. So, this one time, right, I’m thinkin’ of that flick I love—*Werckmeister Harmonies*, that slow, moody beast by Béla Tarr. Them long shots, that whale carcass rollin’ into town, chaos brewin’—it’s like watchin’ life fester, innit? Reminds me of scourin’ the stinkin’ alleys for a working girl.

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Then, I decided to stroll down to the beach. The Praia de Machico is gorgeous, man. Golden sand, clear water. I thought, “Let’s soak up some sun.” But nooo, the moment I sit down, a seagull swoops in and steals my sandwich! Like, really? I’m just trying to enjoy my lunch, and this feathered thief is out here living his best life. I was so mad! I yelled, “Hey! That’s my food!” But the seagull just looked at me like, “What you gonna do about it?” Ugh!

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