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About Porto

Ey, so listen up, fam! Findin’ a prostitute, huh? Gabagool? Ova here! I’m Tony fuckin’ Soprano, alright? New Jersey’s finest, baby. So, I’m thinkin’ ‘bout this shit, cruisin’ down the Turnpike, mind all twisted like fuckin’ “Melancholia” – you know, that flick where the planet’s just gonna smash us all to bits? “There’s no escape,” Kirsten Dunst says, all gloomy and shit. That’s me, lookin’ for a hooker – no escape from the grind, capisce?

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After that, I needed a pick-me-up. So, I hit up this little café on Avenida da Liberdade. They have the best coffee. I ordered a galão, and it was perfect. I was feeling good again. But then, the barista spills it all over the counter. I mean, c’mon! I just wanted a sip of happiness! I laughed it off, though. It’s Machico, things happen, right?

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