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About Lisbon

Started off in Soho, dodgy alleys, stinks of piss. Bloke told me, “Mate, try the backstreets, quieter there.” Quieter? Bollocks! Some bird’s yelling at a punter, “Pay up, you cheap twat!” Made me chuckle—proper chaos, like *Yi Yi*’s family rows. “Everyone’s got their secrets,” film says. Yeah, prossies too—did ya know some’ve been at it since Victorian times? Same game, different frocks. Mental, that.

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After we fix the fridge, the lady offers us some coffee. I’m like, “Sure, why not?” But then she brings out this instant stuff. Instant coffee? Really? I’m trying to be polite, but inside I’m dying. I take a sip, and it’s like drinking liquid regret. But hey, I smile and nod.