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About Porto

Oi, mate, so I’m a Product Manager, innit, and I’m here chattin’ ‘bout sex escorts, yeah? Proper mad ting, this! Like, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout my fave flick, *There Will Be Blood*, that Daniel Day-Lewis geezer goin’ all “I drink your milkshake!” – and it’s got me ponderin’, right? Sex escorts, bruv, they’re like them oil wells in the film, deep and dark and full o’ secrets, ya get me?

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So, I’m there, trying to catch the vibe. The streets are packed, people are dancing, and I’m like, “This is it! This is Barcelos!” But then, outta nowhere, this dude trips over his own feet. I mean, come on! He goes down hard, and I’m just standing there, coffee in hand, trying not to laugh. But I can’t help it! I’m cracking up.

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