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About Funchal

I’m thinkin’, sittin’ there with my tequila, “The forest is alive with spirits,” like Boonmee says. Sex-dating’s got spirits too—hope, lust, desperation. You dodge the creeps, laugh at the bad pickup lines—“Are you French? Cuz *Eiffel* for you.” Ugh, shoot me. But when it clicks? Electric, baby. Like hittin’ a Rock Bottom on The Miz.

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So, I keep walking, and I hit up Praça da República. It’s packed! People everywhere, music blasting. I’m vibin’ until I see this guy trying to sell me some weird potion. I’m like, “Dude, I’m a Snake Spell, not a sucker!” But he’s persistent. I swear, he was like a snake himself, slithering around trying to get me to buy it.