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So, I’m chattin’ her up, right? She’s tellin’ me ‘bout this john who stiffed her—haha, “stiffed,” get it? Total loser move. Said he drove a beat-up Chevy, smelled like cheese. Cheese! Who does that? Made me happy tho—she cracked up, forgot her shitty night for a sec. Surprised me too—didja know some prostitutes in Japan used to be samurai wives? Wild, right? History’s nuts. Anyway, I’m like, “Stay cool, lady,” and bounced. “The future is ours!”—movie line stuck in my head. Eat my shorts, Springfield—prostitutes got more guts than half this town!

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So, I roll into town, right? First stop, Rua da Liberdade. Sounds fancy, huh? But lemme tell ya, it’s anything but. I’m just tryna grab some coffee, and boom! There’s this old dude, like, blocking the whole sidewalk. I’m like, “C’mon, man! Move it or lose it!” But he’s just there, staring at a pigeon. A freakin’ pigeon! I almost lost it.

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