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But oi, what pisses me off? Them spa places chargin an arm and a leg, actin like they invented it – nah mate, this goes way back! Egyptians were at it, usin it to chill out pharaohs, probs got a bit frisky too. Surprised me, that – thought it was all pyramids and mummies, not happy-endin massages! Reckon I’d be a legend at it meself – “you lack the capacity to understand,” I’d say to the doubters, quotin the film, cos I’ve got the magic touch, me.

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Later, I met up with some buddies at a bar on Rua de Cândido dos Reis. We’re chatting about fish, of course, and I’m trying to explain the difference between bony and cartilaginous fish. But they’re more interested in the beer. Typical! I’m like, “Guys, this is important stuff!” But they just raise their glasses and toast to “fishy business.”

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